There was none of that, “Oh, she'll outgrow it,” or “Oh, it's just something.” We were both like, “Oh my God, something is really wrong with Allison.” And then also, thank God we had the resources to deal with this, because at that point, you know, mental health coverage was not so great. And the thing I cannot stress enough is how lucky I was for two things: One, that my husband and I were on the same page. So then we had to pursue, you know, the mental health route. You know? This crazy switch, you know, change in personality? We did that and, you know, that was clear. The doctor said, “Let's get her an MRI of her brain,” because it could have been a brain tumor. And, I mean, I was there within days of what happened, because she was so miserable and so different and struggling. Elizabeth Guthrie, who was the head of psychiatry at Blythedale Children's Hospital in Westchester County. You won’t always be there to save them.Īllison’s pediatrician referred the Raskins to a doctor who Ruth credits with saving her daughter’s life. You won’t always be there to pick them up out of the road. But, can you shake the knowledge that this little person that you love so much that it defies all logic … this little person that you cherish and nourish and in many cases grew inside of you … this person you love, who doesn’t even fully comprehend what it means to die … wants to die?

When a child is four years old, you can pick them up and take them home, yes. She was four years old and lying down in the middle of the road going, “I want to die.” Now, when a child's four, you just pick them up and bring them home. And I’m going to put a little warning here that throughout the rest of the episode, we’ll be talking about topics like suicide and self-harm. Ruth and her husband gave it a few days, but Allison didn’t get any better. He said, 'Let's give this a couple of day, and, you know, if this doesn't get better, I will refer you to a psychiatrist.' There's something inside me that's making me sad.” And we took her to her pediatrician, who, thank God, took it seriously. And then she said to her dad, I think maybe later that same day, “You need to take me to the doctor. She wouldn't pick up anything from the floor. Ruth Raskin: She woke up one morning and just was a different person. Ruth and her husband got their daughter some antibiotics, and Allison got better.

It’s the kind of thing pretty much all kids catch at some point while at daycare or preschool, because children are just beautiful little petri dishes – not their fault, just the facts. Our health and our happiness are precarious, intricate, prone to sudden and inexplicable change.Īnd that’s exactly what happened when Allison was four years old and came down with strep throat. That wish – health, happiness – it’s really not that simple. And compared with her older sister, who, you know, was maybe a little prickly, Allison was pretty easy. She was really always just funny and outgoing. I mean, she was a bit of a homebody, but she liked her friends. Ruth Raskin: Allison was a really happy, funny kid. And for a while there? It seemed like she got it. Happiness was what Ruth Raskin wanted for her daughter, Allison. This is what we all wish for, right? For the world to welcome our children with open arms, for their burdens to be light, for the road ahead to rise up and meet them – to paraphrase an Irish blessing that hung in my grandparents’ living room. Whenever the clock turned 11:11 or 12:34 or 2:22 or any other magical number … whenever I was driving through a tunnel … whenever I saw a dandelion ready to go to seed? Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.īefore I became a parent – when my first-born child was just a collection of cells gathering and multiplying inside of me – I had wishes for this child. Our email subscribers get first dibs on ticket sales, new merch, show announcements and more. We now offer tiers as low as $4.99 / month. Support our new independent production (and get bonus content galore!) by joining TTFA Premium. TTFA is coming to your city October 7th - 22nd with an all-new live show experience, and tickets are on sale now! Get yours here.

You can buy Allison’s book “Overthinking About You” at your favorite book place. In this episode, we talk with Allison and her mother Ruth about raising a child with severe mental illness and what Allison’s world looks like today as an adult living with OCD.

Within weeks, the preschooler was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder and depression. Allison Raskin was just 4 years old the first time she told her parents she wanted to die.

Allison raskin sister